New slogans for Asspria

New slogans for the highest-class finest deluxe unbeatable sports clubs

Warning for lawyers: this is an inferior and atrociously incorrect parody of 

Hell, the Asprian Way.

The real stuff, the paid-for highest-class finest deluxe unbeatable top diamond collection of immaculate sports clubs (and in in my humble opinion moronic inferno) is at: www.aspria.com

If you love Aspria and mum and dad are not at home leave this site immediately and go read your Customer satisfaction for dummies.

Picture: The Director with his coat of invisibility.


Hi. Last time we had a look at how Aspria uses idiotic slogans to inflict self-wounds to its image.

Here we want to help Asspria Hell to get the real mojo. Some slogans I've found while in the bathroom thinking of Hell on the other side of the street.

Slogans for Asspria Hell

"We are number one, the customer is number 2, and you are number 28528."

"You will be happy with us. If not we'll throw you out."

"You'll wish the tennis court had not been free."

"L'Harrasante, pour ceux qui ne sont pas assez stressés."

"Meet people: we have the highest density of clients per machine, chat-up hard bodies while you wait for your turn."

"We do not give self defense classes, you'll have to face the bullies for yourself"

"You burn your fat, we burn you out"

"Simplify your life. Just pay for a year. And do not show up."

"We decide what is good consumer service. Just relax and obey."

 "How much pain can you take before you fold?"