Aspria jokes

Asspria Jokes

God tells a man: "You have been good. I'll grant you a wish."
- "Thank you. I would like a bridge to travel from Dover to Calais. I am claustrophobic."
- "You are asking for too much. Anything else?" says God
- "Please make the Aspria management treat me as a customer".
- "OK." says God. "When do you want to have the bridge?


What is the difference between Josef Steelline (real name censored) and an Asspria manager? Josef Steelline sends his discontented customers to the Gulag, while an Asspria manager sends them to Hell.

What, in ballistics, is called a chaotic trajectory? It is the trajectory of a tennis ball on Asspria La Rasante's Rough Courts.

How does the personnel at Asspria La Rasante's Rough Courts know they are not in Guantanamo?They are not wearing orange.

What does Asspria stand for? A Sports Place Run by Immature Amateurs.

Is Asspria a business? Not if you consider businesses want to have happy customers. Yes if you believe there are here to make money.

What is the difference between the invisible man and an Asspria manager ? The invisible man is a fictitious character, the Aspria manager is a deceptive character.

How do you know the price of a yearly subscription at Asspria La Rase-Mottes? The hard way is to ask. The easy way is to multiply what seems a fair price by the golden number: 1.618 0339 887. (http://www.goldennumber.net/)

How do you tell customers from personnel at Aspria Best Sports Clubs in the Galaxy? Personnel wears prison uniforms.

What is the difference between a potato field and a tennis court at Asspria La Rase-Mottes, "Finest Aspria La Rasante in the world"? People work on potato fields and play at La Rasante Rough Courts.

Why are all Asspria customers happy customers? Management kicks out unhappy customers.

How do you tell customers from the management at Aspria "We do you a favor by letting you in" top-notch Family Sports Clubs? Customers pay and sweat in the club. Managers sell membership somewhere.

Asspria La Rase-Mottes Rough Courts: we invented RTT (rough terrain tennis)

What is it I am doing?

Hi folks.

If you love La Rasante please read no further and enjoy yourselves.

If you have been taken for a ride, exploited, verbally abused, threatened and snubbed by management at an Aspria club, come and share your experience here.

I found hell at Aspria La Rasante
http://hellnearyou.blogspot.com/

I want to make some serious fun of these guys who believe they are number one in Europe and get them to deliver what we have paid for in fairness. I just started with an evaluation. I will parody their self-glorifying site shortly.

I want this to be positive and fair. So humor is my preferred weapon.
My hope is that we can turn the situation to our advantage as customers and get some decent value for money and a little more respect from the rulers of the place.

The internet and social sites like Facebook give individual consumers significant power and we can make things move with relatively little effort while having a good laugh.

The rulers at Aspria Hell and Harassment Parks, L'Harassante, have already kicked me out the club without dialogue or clear explanations five weeks ago, so I cannot expect much improvement of their despotic manners.

This blog is only the beginning.

I want consumer organisations and the public authorities to have a look at what is going on in Aspria Hell. Check the contracts, the secret tariff policy and isolated negotiations with clients, possible overcrowding in legal terms (fire safety and the like) and everything that will put these people in their right place and get us what we have paid for.

To those that wonder why we do not move on and look elsewhere:

- What if the place is conveniently situated around the block and we want Aspria to deliver for our money? OK?
- What if we believe in defending our rights as consumers? OK?
- What if we are free to shop where we please and use our freedom of expression? OK?
- What if we have sworn to never let anyone tramp on our rights? OK?

Another thing that bugs me: why does the personnel look terrorized and worried?

Join the show. Publish your experience. Let's all have good fun.

A word of caution: Google and I admits nothing illegal so no insults, no lies, no hate speech. Parody, humor, mockery are OK.

Good luck and keep on enjoying yourselves if you like La Rasante and have read on in spite of my warning.

Disgruntled customers join me to kick the management's @ss€s and get the record straight.

Bye for now.