Indignez-vous

"Indignez-vous !", un cri qui porte loin
| 31.12.10 | 16h20 • Mis à jour le 31.12.10 | 16h20

"En quarante ans de vie de libraire, je n'ai jamais vu un tel phénomène !" Jean-Marie Sevestre, le patron de Sauramps, la grande librairie du centre de Montpellier, n'en revient pas. Depuis le 1er décembre 2010, il a vendu 8 500 exemplaires d'Indignez-vous !, la brochure de Stéphane Hessel (Indigène, 32 p., 3 euros). "C'est de la folie. Le 24 décembre, certains clients en ont acheté cinq ou dix pour les offrir. Je pensais que ça allait se calmer après Noël, mais non : depuis, on en vend encore 400 par jour !"

Ce que décrit Jean-Marie Sevestre, les statistiques à l'échelle nationale le confirment. Selon la base de données Datalib, qui réunit environ 200 librairies indépendantes, Indignez-vous ! est non seulement en tête des ventes, avec 80 000 exemplaires écoulés en décembre, mais il devance de très loin le reste du peloton : en deuxième position, Michel Houellebecq, lauréat du prix Goncourt, n'a vendu, au cours de la même période, que 9 500 exemplaires de La Carte et le Territoire (Flammarion).

Depuis sa parution, le 20 octobre, Indignez-vous ! a déjà été vendu à 450 000 exemplaires, avec notamment de très fortes percées dans le Midi toulousain et en Bretagne, selon Sylvie Crossman, l'éditrice de Stéphane Hessel. Cette ex-journaliste, qui fut notamment correspondante du Monde à Los Angeles et à Sydney, n'est pas habituée à de tels chiffres. Indigène, la petite maison qu'elle a fondée, en 1996, avec son compagnon, Jean-Pierre Barou, un ex-militant de la Gauche prolétarienne passé par les éditions du Seuil, était jusque-là coutumière des tirages confidentiels.

Créé dans le but de "favoriser le dialogue entre nos sociétés et les sociétés dites "premières"", Indigène a lancé, en 2009, une nouvelle collection, "Ceux qui marchent contre le vent", destinée à abriter des "textes militants en faveur d'une révolution des consciences". Septième titre de cette collection, Indignez-vous ! a d'abord été tiré à 8 000 exemplaires. "Nous en sommes aujourd'hui à 650 000", explique Sylvie Crossman, qui a cédé les droits en Italie, et s'apprête à les vendre en Grèce, en Angleterre, en Pologne et aux Etats-Unis.

"INSURRECTION PACIFIQUE"

Comment expliquer un tel succès ? D'abord quelques mots de l'objet. Etabli par les deux éditeurs à partir de trois conversations d'une heure et demie qui se sont tenues, au printemps 2010, au domicile parisien de Stéphane Hessel, ce texte qui se lit en un quart d'heure se présente à la fois comme un constat, un programme et un discours de la méthode.

Le constat tient en une phrase : "Dans ce monde, il y a des choses insupportables." L'inventaire est vaste. Il va du national au global, Hessel s'insurgeant d'abord contre "cette société des sans-papiers, des expulsions, des soupçons à l'égard des immigrés, (...) où l'on remet en cause les retraites, les acquis de la Sécurité sociale (...), où les médias sont entre les mains des nantis", avant de dénoncer "l'immense écart qui existe entre les très pauvres et les très riches et qui ne cesse de s'accroître", les atteintes aux droits de l'homme et les menaces qui pèsent sur l'état de la planète.

Le programme, quant à lui, s'articule autour de deux textes. Il s'agit d'abord des mesures adoptées, en 1944, par le Conseil national de la Résistance, qui préconisait "l'instauration d'une véritable démocratie économique et sociale". Il s'agit ensuite de la Déclaration universelle des droits de l'homme (1948), à la rédaction de laquelle Stéphane Hessel a participé comme chef de cabinet d'Henri Laugier, alors secrétaire général adjoint de l'ONU.

Reste le discours de la méthode. Sur ce point, l'horizon référentiel de Stéphane Hessel est plus complexe qu'il n'y paraît. Stigmatisant "l'indifférence" comme "la pire des attitudes", Stéphane Hessel vante les mérites de "l'engagement". Mais lequel ? Le texte, ici, est assez ambivalent.

D'un côté, dans le sillage de Martin Luther King ou de Nelson Mandela, l'auteur se fait le chantre de la "non-violence". Convaincu de la "capacité des sociétés modernes à dépasser les conflits par une compréhension mutuelle et une patience vigilante", il plaide pour une "insurrection pacifique", une notion présente dans l'appel du 8 mars 2004 qu'il cosigna avec d'autres anciens résistants, comme Lucie et Raymond Aubrac, Daniel Cordier, Maurice Kriegel-Valrimont, Germaine Tillion et Jean-Pierre Vernant. D'un autre côté, Hessel ne condamne pas en bloc toute forme de violence. Se référant, ici, à Jean-Paul Sartre, il affirme ainsi que, si "on ne peut pas excuser les terroristes qui jettent des bombes", on peut du moins les "comprendre". A l'appui de sa thèse, l'auteur cite le cas des Palestiniens : "Il faut reconnaître que lorsque l'on est occupé avec des moyens militaires supérieurs aux vôtres, la réaction populaire ne peut pas être que non violente."

CONJONCTURE FAVORABLE

Hessel, on le voit, brasse large. A l'exception de sa position déjà connue depuis longtemps sur le Proche-Orient, et contre laquelle s'est notamment élevé le politologue Pierre-André Taguieff, les causes qu'il défend, comme les textes auxquels il se réfère, sont on ne peut plus consensuels. Telle est sans doute l'une des clés du succès. Une autre tient à l'auteur : né en Allemagne, en 1917, et installé en France depuis 1924, il est l'incarnation parfaite de "l'homme européen" ; rallié au général de Gaulle, dès 1941, puis déporté à Buchenwald et à Dora, il suscite l'admiration des héros et l'empathie des victimes ; normalien féru de poésie et diplomate rompu aux négociations multilatérales, il cultive une double image de pragmatisme et d'idéalisme, propre à séduire les romantiques et à rassurer les réalistes.

Paré de l'aura dont jouissent les derniers témoins de la geste résistante - ce qu'illustre notamment le succès des Mémoires de Daniel Cordier (Alias Caracalla, Gallimard, 2009) -, Hessel bénéficie enfin d'une conjoncture favorable. "Ce livre n'aurait pas eu de sens il y a dix ans, nous explique-t-il de sa voix ronde au timbre inimitable. En 2000, on sortait d'une décennie admirable : après la chute du mur de Berlin, il y a eu cinq grandes conférences mondiales - à Rio sur l'environnement, à Vienne sur les droits de l'homme, à Pékin sur les femmes, à Copenhague sur l'intégration sociale et à New York sur les Objectifs de développement du millénaire - qui nous permettaient d'aborder le XXIe siècle avec confiance. Depuis, on est sur une pente descendante, avec le 11-Septembre, la guerre contre le terrorisme, huit ans de Bush, puis la crise financière, avec, au final, le sentiment qu'aucun gouvernement n'est capable de résoudre les problèmes."

Coïncidant avec le succès du Manifeste des économistes atterrés (Les liens qui libèrent, 70 p., 5,50 euros), un autre petit texte qui se classe au quatrième rang des meilleures ventes en librairie, en décembre, selon Datalib, Indignez-vous ! est, d'après son éditrice, "arrivé à point nommé, en touchant un sentiment de désarroi redoublé par l'adoption de la réforme des retraites". D'un côté des économistes "atterrés", de l'autre un vieux sage "indigné" qui attend de sa "toute petite brochure" qu'elle incite "les gens, et surtout les jeunes qui ont tendance à se désengager, à prendre leur destinée en main" : décidément, la colère se vend très bien.

Seize mois avant l'élection présidentielle, cela ne constitue sans doute pas un programme de gouvernement. Mais à coup sûr un sérieux avertissement.

Thomas Wieder
Article paru dans l'édition du 02.01.11

Joke: God and Aspria managers

God tells a man: "You have been good. I'll grant you a wish."
- "Thank you. I would like a bridge to travel from Dover to Calais. I am claustrophobic."
- "You are asking for too much. Anything else?" says God
- "Please make the Aspria management treat me as a customer".
- "OK." says God. "When do you want to have the bridge?

The Joy of Tennis and how La Rasante spoils it

Tennis in ordinary clubs as immortalized by Martin Elliott

Martin Elliott is the owner of the copyright for this picture, displayed here for educative purposes. He took this most famous shot in 1976. The player is his then girlfriend, 18-year-old Fiona Butler, dressed in tennis gear, hitching her skirt to show her left cheek.

Martin Elliott died at his home in Truro, Cornwall, in 2010, following a 10-year battle with cancer.

The pair had borrowed a white tennis dress, racket and balls for the shot taken on a university tennis court.

The image, which featured in a calendar, shot to fame and more than two million copies were sold worldwide by Athena.

Tennis joy at L'Harassante: my humble opinion

Picture: Not taken at la Rasante, only metaphorically illustrative of Goofy tennis in the best club in the World,  Aspria La Rasante, 7 clay courts, 3 in winter, and proposed here for parody. 


Here's what's wrong, IMHO and experience:

- Tariffs are not public: each customer has to find out and negotiate for himself
- Court surfaces: appalling, hence ball trajectories are chaotic
- Booking system: hmmm, hazardous
- Enforcement of booking rules: dangerous
- Overcrowding of the club: you won't play much
- Parking often full: cars spill in adjacent streets creating local nuisance
- Management: is always right, I never heard any apology about anything
- Customer is servant: either pay and be happy, or leave, or get kicked out as in my case.

More on tennis courts:

Courts 5, 6 and 7 are covered with leaves and branches during the summer season. The worst one is number 7 which can safely be called a "potato field". 

During dry spells the watering system is not able to follow up and keep the clay humid.

Funny detail: court 1 at la Rasante is oriented East-West.

To make your own judgment, look on the web for standard tennis courts building and maintenance and compare good practice with what is done at La Rasante for yourself. You can start here: 

• Orientation: A North/South orientation is desirable for outdoor courts to avoid background glare at dawn or dusk. (Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tennis_court " )
• Maintenance of tennis courts: http://www.tennis.com.au/pages/image.aspx?assetId=RDM39630.7282419907
• Tennis court specifications http://www.actionsports-international.com/mavista/upload/File/tenniscourtsbase.pdf

In summary:
IMHO, if you want to play serious tennis look elsewhere. Other clubs in Brussels know better how to care for clay courts. For goofy tennis go for L'Harassante. 

Spoof news: Aspria will tag tennis players

Aspria La Rasante's customers will have to wear electronic tagging devices (parody)

Aspria are the best tennis clubs in the world, period. However its management has proved itself unable to enforce club rules about tennis court occupation. So they are now moving to electronic tagging.

Management chose tagging, a form of surveillance consisting of an electronic device attached to a person, for its convenience. Tennis players at La Rasante will have to chose between two fluorescent tags: a pink ear tag and a turquoise wristband.

Says La Rasante manager: "Tennis players at our club are infamous for wanting to play tennis on our potato fields. They tend to occupy free fields, thereby using up the surface, which at our world class club is a mix of mud and sand. We use our courts for potato growing and playing on them spoils the surface. We want to monitor their whereabouts. "

The rules at La Rasante are known to be understood by a very small fraction of the players and by nobody in management: a quarter after the hour, the court booking is lost unless the reception has been warned of a late arrival.

The reception has a huge bag of tricks to prevent tennis players from reaching the potato fields.

The new scheme should improve potato yield by 50%.

Opinion: Asspria l'Harassante, a Moronic Inferno

Everyone has their own idea of Hell. A hot place, a cold place, a lonely place. Whatever the torment, it is a place of permanent pain. Mythology, the religions derived from Abraham, Buddhism, tell about the sufferings one can endure in various hells. 

Sometimes you can find hell in real life, and there too it takes different flavors.

I remember when I was young, how much I was amazed at these people competing in pain endurance challenges. They would test how long they would endure lying naked on ice, staying in steam baths longest etc. 

The hell I am now presenting is of the moronic kind(1). I found hell located at Asspria L'Harassante.

With two s in Asspria. The picture on the right summarizes my experience and my opinion.

(1) Martin Amis, The Moronic Inferno

FAQ: How to know if the court is yours? My experience

How tennis courts occupation rules really, really, work at La Rasante (parody)

The rules

1) You book a court and show up on time or a little late. It's yours.
2) You are more than 15 minutes late and you have told the reception in advance you would be late. It's yours on arrival. Otherwise: you've lost your booking.
3) You spot a free court: tell the reception you will play on it, knowing that point 2 applies.

What happens in quality clubs in case of doubt?

In quality clubs, should there be a disagreement over who can play on a court, a competent and smiling manager will propose that players meet and play a double and have fun.

My experience at the Best Tennis Club in Belgium: La Rasante

I can only speak of the incidents I was involved in. They all had their roots in the 15 minutes rule. In the most serious incident, which led to my later exclusion from the club, I was playing on court 7 with a partner. At 18:30 two excited individuals walked on it and encircled me. They threatened me physically at once and asked me with a mean tone to clean and vacate the court.

They had not notified the reception of their late arrival. We on the other hand had told the reception we would use a free court if any.

After failing to take us out of the court by intimidation, the two bullies fetched the manager on duty,Shoegazer. He did not show enough competence, IMHO, in handling this minor dispute over the occupation of a tennis court. He did not ask the right questions. He never smiled. He did not look for compromises.

What he did was to take the easy road. He backed the party who intimidated him most. In concrete terms he walked straight at me, and ordered me to leave the court. In a second attempt he  threatened me with a club exclusion if I did not vacate the court at once.

What about court occupations rules?

I told him his job was to implement the club's regulations. But, as I said, it is as if Shoegazer threw a coin in the air, and when it has fallen on the ground he would give the court to whomever is threatening him most. His mind was already made when he came to speak to me.

What happens if you tell Shoegazer you will not leave the court that you have a legitimate claim to?

That's what I did. But Shoegazer had succumbed to pressure from Thor Berserker who was threatening  with a law suit. Shoegazer then threatened me in turn, as mentioned:  I would be excluded from the club if I did not obey the unfair orders he was barking.

The good news is that after I refused to obey the fate that the coin had dictated for me, I was not tarred and feathered.


How I got excluded

The bad news is that the ruler at La Rasante Rough Courts banned me the next morning, on the basis of the story Shoegazer had told him.

I suspect Shoegazer had sexed-up the story too. I heard through the grapevine that accoirding to his account I would have assaulted the latecomers. We'll see what the court thinks of that.

Anyhow, the Harassante ruler did not even try to meet me first and listen to my account. He did not bother telling me why I was expelled. Even after 5 weeks of emailing back and forth he stuck to "what you did and what you said". Very specific.

If Shoegazer stays at La Rasante, he must be competent, or?

If I understand well, Shoegazer is competent at selling a lot of memberships.  If this is true, he's an asset for the bean counters in the offices. My objection is that La Rasante is already badly overcrowded, IMHO. Their customers fill the parking spaces of people living around the block and create a local nuisance.

How can one complain?

I complained and insisted on playing on the court I had a regular claim to. Then I was excluded without serious motivation. I believe there is a link, if I understand the email I received (see next message).

My issue is that Shoegazer had too seriously spoilt my fun, troubled my peace and tramped on my rights as a customer and, on top of that will not admit critique. This apparently is peanuts to them gentle Aspria managers.

So Shoegazer got his way. But I believe he was too deceptive for his own good in view of the lies and nonsense that have been spread in the emails his management have sent me, especially those that are easy to disprove.

What I would do in such a case if I were the director:

1) Check the facts 2) Talk to the consumer 3) If necessary train Shoegazer, otherwise keep him out of his incompetence zone 4) If warranted, give the consumer some compensation 5) Have a walk in the park.

How I was banned from Aspria La Rasante for no good reason

The director at La Rasante banned me, on April 30th, five weeks ago without meeting me first and without giving me a specific reason for five weeks. He just kicked me, the unhappy customer, out and left on holiday for ten days. Instructions were given not to let me in and let no one answer my questions in substance in his absence. Elegant!

After ten days I received a wishy-washy email from the Director. "in view of your behavior yesterday" or something similarly vague. For 5 weeks I asked for specificity.

On June 4th, Aspria's GOD (Group Operations Director, no kidding, that's the title), some very, very big shot in London first told me why: first because I had complained in emails about Shoegazer's incompetence at handling the court reservation incident mentionned in the previous message. Second, because I also had told him in person I was not satisfied with his performance and rude manners with me.

At least, that's what I understand from this very powerful man's sms-like answer. It is rather vague, so it's guessing rather than certainty. Here it is:

Jon Brady [mailto:jbrady@aspria.com]
Sent: Friday, June 04, 2010 1:48 PM
To: PELAYO Jean-Charles (ENTR); xxx
Cc: Patrick Devleeschouwer; Serge Mauquoy; xxx
RE: Win-win or lose-lose


My previous email stands. I will not have members of my staff spoken to, or of, in a manner such that you have chosen to use, other people have rights as well and based on the terms and conditions of membership, your membership is denied.


Sincerely, 


Jon Brady
Group Operations Director
The Aspria Collection of Clubs
Europes Finest Spas and Family Sporting Clubs
E: jbrady@aspria.com
M: +44 77100 84275
D: +44 20 8944 4075 www.aspria.com / www.aspria-hotel.com

Previously they held different other lines, notably that they were a private club. 

I do not know exactly if they think that being private means that they do not have to discuss and motivate such decisions first. In my book, they have to, otherwise it is an abuse of power.

Since then they must have had some legal counsel telling them to stop playing with fire.
Time will tell ...

Conclusion:  watch out, Aspria La Rasante is a private club!

How to recognize hell managers (parody)

Leonard (left): Often called "le Grand Negre" (The Black Man), Leonard is a demon of the first order, grand master of the sabbaths, chief of the subaltern demons.

From the waist up, Leonard has a goat's body with 3 horns on his head, a goat's beard, hair-like bristles, 2 ears like foxes, and inflamed eyes. 

He also has a face on his butt, which witches kiss while holding a green candle to adore him.

Leonard's attitude is reserved and melancholic, but when he appears at witch and devil assemblies, he is commanding and uses situations to his advantage.

Ukobach (left): a demon of an inferior order who maintains the oil in the infernal boilers. Some call him the inventor of frying and fireworks. He appears with a blazing body. Secures escalation of minor disputes.

Bael: Demon described in le Grand Grimoire as being high among the infernal powers....he teaches those that invoke him how to disappear at will. Visits l'Harassante for seminars.

Andras: Grand Marquis in Hell: he who raises discords and quarrels. Walks around under the nickname Shoegazer.



Source: Dictionnaire Infernal - Collin de Plancy (1863)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collin_de_Plancy

Aspria's internet paranoia

Two paragraphs taken out of the Aspria web site Legal Statement

at http://www.aspria-avenuelouise.be/en/legal-statement

This site and the content provided in this site, including, but not limited to, graphic images, audio, video, html code, , and text, may not be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way, without the prior written consent of Aspria, except that you may download, display, and print one copy of the materials on any single computer solely for your personal, non-commercial use, provided that you do not modify the material in any way and you keep intact all copyright, trademark, and other proprietary notices.


Security in transmission of messages to Aspria
In view of the technical structure of the Internet, if you wish to send an e-mail from your private e-mail account to Aspria you must take your own security precautions in order to maintain the confidentiality and integrity of your e-mail's content, by using for example, standard commercially available encryption software.

Comment (my own opinion, lawyers)

Aspria must have paid a lawyer to create this pile of bullshit. Let him send me a cease-and-desist letter because I have copied two paragraphs of the legal statement published on the Aspria sites.

Use of cryptography for sending emails to a health club? WTF?

When these IMHO, poor devils display an IMHO totalitarian frame of mind, they become self-parodic.

Obscure Aspria price policy: who pays what?

Forum discussion as retrieved from http://www.xpats.com/q-a/1.70803


In the meantime, this has disappeared from the xpats site. Hmmm. What happened?

Question

Has any one use the Aspria Fitness Club in Brussels?

What your opinion on it? What about the premium price of €116 per month including the €100 joining fee.

Do you think it's expensive?

Asked by Kenneth Fri, 29/05/2009 in the Sports & fitness category | 11 answers | add your own answer | end to a friend 

Answers

.../...

Tell them you want a lower price or you'll go elsewhere. I negotiated a big reduction at Aspria La Rasante.

Answer by JS Fri, 29/05/2009

Hi JS,

Can you tell me how much reduction I can get? thanks

Answer by Kenneth Fri, 29/05/2009

xxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxx xxxxxxx xxx (very negative opinion, censored).


We tried to get a special deal for 24 employees and their spouses/partners and the best deal was 1st month half price,€100 fees and then €116 as usual...We opted to shop around...

Answer by Aspriaphobe Sun, 31/05/2009

I joined Aspria last summer and I've been paying €125 per month (automatically debited). Is €116 fee for premium?

My membership gives access to all the facilities and classes. Have I been ripped off or has the price gone down this year?

Answer by TT Tue, 02/06/2009

I just went there this week and they even asked for 129€ per month!

.../... So I might try to negociate now that I know...

Answer by tifitaf 12 months ago

Aspria: Troc, troc, troc, entrez.

Economie non monétaire?

Trouvé sur http://fr.elle.be/Blog/(offset)/20/(year)/2009/(month)/7  et recopié ici.


Mercredi 22 Juillet 2009

CASTING

Vous êtes belle et bien foutue, voici une chance de remporter un abonnement à la salle dont tout le monde parle:

L’Aspria Club, est à la recherche des nouveaux visages.Dans le cadre d’un prochain shooting, nous recherchons une fille 30 -35 et un garçon la quarantaine, plus ou moins mannequin pro ou sachant travailler avec un photographe. Profil: une bonne tête - en bonne forme physique.Le shooting (2 jours) aura lieu durant la semaine du 10 août. Le photographe est Mike Caldwell.

Nous travaillons en échange: votre abonnement au club vous sera ainsi offert pour 6 mois minimum (ou plus en fonction de votre visibilité sur les photos)

. Envoyez vos photos récentes à Charlotte Dekesel cdekesel@aspria.be.

Bonne chance!

Parody Interview of the Asspria Ruler, on "Management by Pain Only"

Meet Jock Ballokks (real name censored), The Asspria Group Operations Director, father of Management by Pain Only©

I wrote this article for the satirical site The Spoof where it is rated with 5 stars.
http://www.thespoof.com/news/magazine/management_by_pain_only_6654.htm

(The Spoof is a satire and parody site, dear lawyers.)

This is a fake interview. It comes from my imagination. It is a creation.

Thor Berserker, the theorist behind "Management by Punishment" has interviewed Jock Ballokks, the Aspria GOD (Group Operations Director) for satirical purposes. That day Jon was sporting a full-grown moustache that makes him look even more like his childhood mentor Josef Steelline.

TB: Both Josef Steelline and you Jon take exemplary measures against non-complying customers and reduce freedom of expression to the official management line. In what way do you differ?

Jock Ballokks  : "While Josef still believes in sending his discontented customers to the gulag, I send them straight to Hell. This is a major improvement as Hell is a public good and costs nothing. As Josef, I believe the classless society of the future is going to be an amusement park where few will have fun and the rest will serve them."

TB: What is the difference between management by punishment and Management by Pain Only©?

Jock Ballokks  : "Management by Pain Only© involves a sense of rythm and decorum, fun and profit. It uses flogging for three purposes: motivation, giving a sense of rythm to work, reminding workers who rules. Tarring and feathering and other humiliations of non-compliant customers serve similar ideas: discouraging consumers from craving more than crappy and arrogant service, providing periodical fun humiliation parties, reminding customers they too are servants to me, the ruler of the place."

TB: "You are one of the World's most revered management gurus, especially known for the clarity of your writings. Why is clarity important?

Jock Ballokks s : "I am a ruler, not a manager. I use the word management to sell
management books. The greatest manager of all times was Gengis Khan. Understanding complex messages takes valuable time. Ambiguity is seldom useful. I rely on few simple ideas and methods."

TB: What are they?

Jock Ballokks: "My management method, Management by Pain Only© is based on the notion that people will go to great lenghts to avoid pain. Contrary to satisfaction which is submitted to decreasing returns, pain yields stable returns and is less costly to administer. This is why I have put in place the tarring and feathering of discontented customers followed by their exclusion without explanation from the exclusive sports clubs I rule. As a result, Aspria has 100% satisfied customers. The others are sent to hell. Employees are flogged on a daily basis. Those who are not happy get the axe. Easy as a,b,c. You just need balls to implement that, so I would say testosterone patches are the only management tool that I recommend."

TB: Fine, but you do not explain anything to your customers when you kick them out. This is not a simple message. It is no message at all.

Jock Ballokks : "This is a crucial point. Talk is cheap. Explanations are not necessary. Do you think Gengis Khan explained? Management jargon shows a failure to think clearly, and ultimately contempt for one's clients. Kicking a client out is clear enough in itself and does not need comments. It means: "You have no rights, only obligations. We do not want to make you the favor of our business. We do not need your money. We are ripping enough other willing morons off anyway."

TB: How about those under your rule?

Jock Ballokks : "To motivate people under you is the most important of management tasks. Flogging is the most efficient motivation and gives rythm and swing to work. At Aspria, under my rule, we are just following nature's way, using pain avoidance as the only motivational tool. Look at the seven great Wonders of the Ancient World. They were built using flogging as personnel incentives. We have a rate of satisfaction of the personnel of 100% too. Those who are not happy are harrassed and leave.

TB: What are your political views?

Jock Ballokks : "I received the first intuition about what would become Management by Pain Only© on a hot day, while visiting The Great Pyramid at Giza. Let's not complicate things. Most people are borne to serve, a little minority to rule. The Great Pyramid has been standing there for 4,500 years. Workers built it with muscle force only. For the general well-being and fun of rulers, they were flogged as a measure of routine. It also kept their working spirits high."

TB: Do you believe modern society can accept
your ideas?

Jock Ballokks: "In short, because the issue is settled, the French revolution is just a minor incident in the history of the world, and its ideals gobbledigook. History is the history of rulers and great conquerors like Gengis Khan. The last 200 years or so are just an accident caused by oversentimentalism. Going backwards is going towards the future."

Asspria rules

Réponse du CRIOC à ma plainte

[Texte authentique]

From: Anaïs Deville [mailto:Anais.Deville@oivo-crioc.org]
Sent: Tuesday, June 08, 2010 10:07 AM
To: PELAYO Jean-Charles (ENTR)Subject: Réponse à votre question sur le site du CRIOC (litige salle de sport)

Monsieur Pelayo,

Nous avons bien reçu votre question qui a retenu toute notre attention. En tant que Centre de Recherche et d'Information des Organisations de Consommateurs, le CRIOC est soucieux d'attirer l'attention des consommateurs sur les risques existants et ce en informant via ses sites internet (www.crioc.be ou www.arnaques.be), des campagnes spécifiques, ou en proposant des adaptations de la législation. Votre plainte sera prise en compte dans ce cadre et nous sera très utile à mieux défendre les intérêts des consommateurs.

Les salles de sport attirent en effet à elles un contentieux assez important. Il n'y a pas si longtemps, nous avons analysé les contrats proposés par ces salles de sport, et avons pu alerter le consommateur et les autorités au sujet de certaines pratiques mises en lumière par cette analyse (http://www.crioc.be/FR/doc/dede/culture/document-4118.html).

Dans votre cas, je vous conseille de lire votre contrat, et en particulier les clauses qui règlementent le cas échéant la fin de celui-ci. Par ailleurs, sachez que l'affichage des prix est encadré par des règles strictes, que vous trouverez en cliquant sur le lien suivant: http://economie.fgov.be/fr/consommateurs/Pratiques_commerce/Indication_prix/index.jsp. A cet égard, vous avez bien fait d'informer le SPF économie de cette pratique. Au demeurant, chaque client signe un contrat différent qui, comme tout contrat, peut être négocié par les parties en fonction de la volonté de chacune d'elles, afin d'arriver à un accord de volontés.

Nous sommes ravis de voir que vous avez pris l'initiative d'informer d'autres instances. Il est inadmissible que les salles de sport puissent agir de la sorte tout en restant impunies.

N'hésitez pas à nous tenir informés du suivi de ce dossier.

Espérant avoir répondu ainsi à votre attente, je vous prie d'agréer, Monsieur Pelayo, mes salutations distinguées.

Anaïs Deville
Consumer & Public Affairs Counsellor
CRIOC - OIVO (ON/NE 417541646)
Fondation d'utilité publique - Stichting van openbaar nut -
Paepsem Business ParkPaapsemlaan 20 Boulevard Paepsem1070 Anderlecht
Tél: 02/547.06.11 - Fax: 02/547.06.01Tél direct : 02/547.06.22.Site web: http://www.crioc.be/ http://oivo.be/
E-mail : anais.deville@crioc.be
Maildisclaimer: http://www.oivo-crioc.org/FR/maildisclaimer.php
http://www.oivo-crioc.org/NL/maildisclaimer.php

Plaintes concernant Aspria La Rasante

Plainte envoyée aux autorités publiques (Direction Générale Santé et Consommation de la Commision européenne, Ministère belge de la Consommation, Parlement Européen)

Mon problème et mes 4 questions

Le club de sport de luxe Aspria - La Rasante est en face de chez moi à Bruxelles, au 56 rue Sombre. J’habite au 69. En tant que membre depuis 3 ans, je m'y rendais régulièrement. Apparemment, la Rasante appartient à 98% à Cofinimmo (www.cofinimmo.com).

Le directeur, que je n'ai jamais vu, m'en a expulsé par email, sans me parler auparavant. Pendant 5 semaines, le management à Bruxelles et Londres a refusé de dire quelle était ma faute. Maintenant il présente un motif bidon (cf. email en fin de ce message). J'ai maintenant d'autres motifs de plainte et mes questions sont les suivantes :

• Un club de sport privé peut-il exclure un membre sans un dialogue préalable et sans motivation suffisante?
• Y-a-t-il une limite légale au nombre de membres que peut avoir un tel club?
• Pourquoi cette opacité à la Rasante sur les tarifs? Ils ne sont affichés nulle part, le consommateur doit négocier individuellement le prix de son abonnement annuel. Est-ce légal?
• La charte éthique de Cofinimmo vaut-elle engagement pour sa filiale aussi ? Est-elle une simple publicité? Si oui, son non-respect peut-il en faire une publicité mensongère? La même question vaut pour le site et les brochures Aspria: www.aspria.com

Pour finir, la surpopulation y est telle, que je doute que les règles de sécurité alerte, incendie et évacuation soient respectées à La Rasante.

La Rasante Survival 101 (parody)

Get the jungle signals right in Asspria Hell and survive overcrowding

Picture: A consumer (right) submits to an Asspria manager (left)

Intimidation and dominant behavior in an overcrowded club

Human domination and submission behavior can be understood by looking at the way apes behave. We are not that different. For more on that, check The Naked Ape by Morris (1). Sometimes, I even wonder if apes should not sue us humans for saying they resemble us. They do not wage war, mass killings, systematic exploitation of their fellows. But this is besides the point.

Male consumers that are the victim of aggression often avoid further conflict by submissive behaviors. Female consumers attacked by more dominant females and dominant males  often seek the same type of end to conflict in order to obtain reassurance from their aggressor.

IMHO, Two types of intimidations exist at Asspria L'Harassante: from hooligans of both sexes rampaging on the premises and securing space and facilities for themselves, and from senior managers. 

The personnel wearing prison uniforms tends to be submissive to Asspria managers.

Bobbing

A submissive consumer lets the aggressor know that he or she is not a threat and that rip-off will be permitted through non-threatening postures such as presenting their back, crouching and bowing. This is called bobbing.

A quick simulation of intercourse "doggy-style" can happen as is seen in primates. This ritual puts an end to conflict by signalling full submission to the dominant part.

Submission and politeness

The submissive consumer will approach the dominant Asspria manager or hooligan with a fear grin on its face. It is attempting to present itself as small and non-threatening. The dominant part will in turn allow the submissive consumer to move closer to him. Often he will attempt to gently touch the consumer's back, arm, or hand. The hooligan will start predating with a grin.

In the jungle, politeness, especially after provocations, is interpreted as weakness and a carte-blanche to slander you, tramp on your rights, take your towel, remove you from a tennis court or remove your sports bag from the bank in the changing rooms.

Responding in kind to dominants is interpreted as rebellion and conflict can escalate very rapidly.

How berserkers and Asspria managers signal you have to submit

Dominance displays occur when a male (or female) is attempting to intimidate a subordinate or to gain rank. A typical dominance display begins with the person attempting domination standing up straight with hair bristling (pilo-erection), shoulders hunched, and a compressed lips face so that his body looks larger and his face meaner. Teeth are shown on some occasions, but stiff lips remain prevalent.

Picture: Dominance display in posture. Senior manager Shoe-gazer is intimidating  a customer into vacating a court he has a legitimate claim to.

Gesticulation

The displaying dominant will then start to sway back and forth, shoving brush and other vegetation that are found on the tennis courts at Rasante with exaggerated movements. At the studio classes, space will be cleared by manipulating weights, mats and towels in such a way that submissives will have to move to stay out of harm's way. In the changing room, exaggerated limb movements will secure more space.

If these displays are insufficient to elicit submission signals, the dominant will grow increasingly excited and provocative. Some skilled dominants (Thor Berserker's technique reigns supreme) may shout they are lawyers, diplomats or princes.

Picture: The dominant's throwing of coconuts and tearing off tree branches and dragging them while running and gesticulating rapidly around his intended victim is usually decisive. This can be combined by seasoned berserkers by pushing or coming within biting distance of tennis players they want to bully out of the court.

The cowering submissive may choose to use one of many forms of submissive behavior to pacify the angry aggressor.

Punishment of assertive customers at Asspria

While dominance displays don't usually erupt into full scale fighting, those customers that don't get out of the way fast enough of a dominant customer will find that the dominant will call reception and intimidate an Asspria manager into seconding them.

The assertive customer will then likely be rapped at, yelled at and threatened (of exclusion for instance). This is in part a provocation. Any mistake like responding in kind, pushing back biters and the like will be interpreted as an aggression that warrants exclusion.

Signalling mismanagement and abuse of power, referring to club regulations or quality of consumer service warrants exclusion. Customers that stand their ground and will not back down from asserting their right to a decent service can furthermore expect to be slandered with vivid imagination and either tarred and feathered at once or shamefully kicked out of Asspria Hell.

This is part of the local culture and is not written anywhere. The local regulations are under seven seals anyway and only managers have accesss to the list of Member Representatives that once used to be posted but is now removed from sight.

Conclusion and tips

Try to adjust slowly, never walk alone, get Asspria-wise (as in street-wise) and stick to a gang as you would do in prison or the soviet army.

Assertiveness is not rewarded.

Taking the initiative with threatening behavior, if well staged as described above, will guarantee backing by the management and, if things should go wrong, exclusion of your polite opposition from the club.

Except for Asspria's lawyer, everybody understands this is parody and has absolutely nothing to do with real-life situations at Asspria L'Harassante.

(1) The Illustrated Naked Ape: A Zoologist's Study of the Human Animal. Desmond Morris. Review by Janet Dunaif-Hattis. American Anthropologist. Sep 1987, Vol. 89, No. 3: 732–733.

"Bob or be excluded."